Lost in Translation

- Why I would vote for Sebuano as the common language if the confusion of tongues were to be taken back.

I have never laughed so much in my life unceasingly over days. My daughter was wondering aloud, “Why are you so happy nowadays?”. You see I am a recent member of a FaceBook group whose members all come from the same Hometown. I have been glued to my seat in front of my desktop ever since the group was created. My kids have noticed me laugh and nearly roll on the floor at times (ROFL is not just hyperbole you know). I would make them read the comments and posts but they would just look at me silly on why I find it so amusing. Firstly they hardly understood it and then most of them were contextual or anecdotal in nature. The Language we use in the group is a mix of English, Tagalog, Sebuano (Cebu’s dialect) and Ilonggo (dialect of Ilo-Ilo and Bacolod) called Saksak-Sinagol, literally meaning thrown and mixed together.

Saksak-Sinagol though would mostly be Sebuano. My hometown is a mix of different migrants from various Philippine provinces brought together by the Food Company Dole Philippines in a Southern Mindanao province called South Cotabato and majority speak that dialect. It wouldn’t sound pleasing to the ear for a non-native speaker. It is a hard language and may sound too harsh or disrespectful at times. Surprisingly though I find the native speakers of the dialect the most humorous lot! I am no linguist but compared to 3 local dialects I know plus English both Brit and American, Sebuano would make you laugh or smile within 2 to 3 sentences.

It is not slapstick for sure. Sarcastic at times but right away paired with self-deprecation. Witty yes, but it doesn’t over reach looking for only the smart and in-the-know audience who nod at each other laughing, both glad and smug that only they understood the joke. Sebuano somehow always reminds the speaker that his aim is to reach out to as many and not alienate anyone. It would be too long if you don’t get a Sebuano joke in 3 seconds!

This brings me to my theory. It was really Lapu-Lapu’s intention to only bring wooden weapons at the Battle of Mactan. Most probably Magellan and his men were rolling on the beach laughing at the sight. And Lapu-Lapu and his men approached them laughing along with everyone. They were disarmed by the humor of it all. The Spaniards were made comfortable enough to allow them to come nearer until the long arms of the Spaniards were of no use in hand to hand combat.

You see if you have a friend who is Sebuano you would undoubtedly fall for their charm. Their ability to find humor in everything and point to their weaknesses as sources of laughter will surely bring your defenses down. Sebuanos and the Saksak-Sinagols of Dole Cannery are made of sterner stuff because of this. Bring them anywhere and they will persevere and prosper. Their language has wired them to take everything in stride and that there will always be something to laugh about. They have wooden swords hidden in invisible scabbards that always goes along with them where ever they go. That is why if God would give us a chance again to have a common tongue I would choose Sebuano because a wooden sword will surely not kill me and I would rather die from too much laughing :-).